I Made It To 20

Sometimes procrastination and apathy are reason enough to make it through. Once I had already made a commitment to help someone wash their car, another time I had promised to cover someone’s shift at work (in a months time) and even sometimes I had to sit an exam. Most recently I have honestly just been too tired to put any of my plans into fruition. Eventually all of those moments added up and here I am now. I got to see my cousin’s first birthday, my (first, second & third) favourite band live and been able to accompany the most precious fighter from his birth, through primary school.

Although I am currently riddled with suicidal ideations, I have managed to make it through my 7300th rotation of the Earth. Continuing to place my urges on the bottom of an ever-expanding list of chores has been the most difficult thing I have ever done, but I have done it. Some days procrastination isn’t enough, but on the 99/100 times that it is, I have managed to make it to now.

Any motivation is enough to see the day through (even if it’s apathy). No reason is too small or too unimportant to keep yourself alive.


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