The truth is that people find it easy to forget that others suffer from a mental illness as soon as it’s not outwardly visible. It’s been over a year that I’ve maintained a healthy weight and maybe two years that I’ve refrained from self-harm. To be honest I feel as though I haven’t been taken… Continue reading Easily Forgotten
All of this time I’ve recently spent in my own thoughts has made me realise just how afraid I am. I’m scared that I’ll always be like this, but I’m also scared that I’ll change and not know what to do. I have a fear that I’ll fail at my studies, while also having a… Continue reading I’m scared
Recently I’ve been told to write out everything that happened over those few years, but that’s easier said than done. Even if I wasn’t too terrified that if I wrote it any readers would judge my naive stupidity, I am almost completely unable to remember that time (except what has come back to me in… Continue reading Closure
Being an anxious person is something that seemed to have been destined since birth. I’ve slowly learned the true scope of effects that anxiety can cause, both physical and mental. I have quite substantial memory problems thought to have been caused by constant spikes of adrenaline -most of my memories from moments longer than a… Continue reading Life Long Anxiety
Being physically recovered and being able to go back to study leaves many on the outside assuming I’m cured. The truth, as many who have suffered a mental illness will know, is not that simple. Although I am currently happier than I have been in years -my whole life even- it doesn’t mean that I… Continue reading Recovery
Currently I am two weeks through a three week holiday in Japan. I have traveled around 12 hours on planes, walked over 30 kms and had easily 25 train rides ranging from 3 minutes to 3 hours in duration. My three friends and I have gotten on the wrong trains, walked to the wrong cities… Continue reading Realising Home Sickness
I am trying to find a way to admit that I am finding some things difficult while also being able to show that I am the happiest I’ve been. There shouldn’t be an expectation that being in recovery means that you are always “up” or “perfect”, that you don’t still struggle or that you don’t… Continue reading Recovery isn’t Clear-Cut
Slowly but surely I have been managing to separate my past from my present. In no way does this mean that those experiences haven’t influenced who I’ve become or that they don’t effect me -because that couldn’t be further from the truth. Instead I have been able to sit with the awful feelings and urges… Continue reading The Weight of Living
When is the right time to tell someone about your mental illness(es)? This question often elicits one of three responses; 1. Be upfront from the beginning, 2. Keep everything private and NEVER speak of it, 3. You just have to “play it by ear” But to be perfectly honest, we all know life is never… Continue reading New Relationships and Honesty
As long as I retain a basic level of functioning, it is far too easy to keep my head in the fog of denial. The part of my mind that always doubts my ability to succeed thrives on the fact that I can still classify to most as “healthy”. My legs have begun to shake… Continue reading I Keep Telling Myself…
Convalescence and Coffee 