I am trying to find a way to admit that I am finding some things difficult while also being able to show that I am the happiest I’ve been. There shouldn’t be an expectation that being in recovery means that you are always “up” or “perfect”, that you don’t still struggle or that you don’t… Continue reading Recovery isn’t Clear-Cut
Slowly but surely I have been managing to separate my past from my present. In no way does this mean that those experiences haven’t influenced who I’ve become or that they don’t effect me -because that couldn’t be further from the truth. Instead I have been able to sit with the awful feelings and urges… Continue reading The Weight of Living
When is the right time to tell someone about your mental illness(es)? This question often elicits one of three responses; 1. Be upfront from the beginning, 2. Keep everything private and NEVER speak of it, 3. You just have to “play it by ear” But to be perfectly honest, we all know life is never… Continue reading New Relationships and Honesty
As long as I retain a basic level of functioning, it is far too easy to keep my head in the fog of denial. The part of my mind that always doubts my ability to succeed thrives on the fact that I can still classify to most as “healthy”. My legs have begun to shake… Continue reading I Keep Telling Myself…
Things have a tendency to fall apart so much quicker than I can ever put them together. (This has such a big trigger warning) Recently I’ve been struggling with an increase in intrusive thoughts and memories, but I thought I could manage them on my own. A few weeks ago I was with a friend (we were, for… Continue reading Flashback?
It’s the little things that all start to add up eventually. So here is a list of seemingly unimportant/stupid reasons why I hate having mental illnesses. No longer knowing what amount of hair loss is normally to be expected when showering. Having every part of your body ache, constantly. Needing to stop and sit on someone’s… Continue reading It’s the Little Things…
Dissociation is a word that I fear to use in reference to myself, but it’s the only one I have left. I have become almost accepting of a certain degree of separation within my own mind. This feeling of not even being present when I can see my own fingers typing is no longer a… Continue reading Dissociation